Temple Holiday Week 2

We began this week on Monday Oct 30th, by doing a morning session in the Provo temple with Nathan, then set out for Boise.  We had 2 nights’ reservations at one of our favorite hotels, the Oxford, just across freeway to the south from the Boise temple.  See the night picture of that temple from our hotel window.  We overate at a Tucahnos restaurant which was at the edge of the hotel’s parking and then were dismayed to find out as we returned to our hotel room that the Astros were losing World Series game 6.  (We had just become Astros fans when they beat the Yankees in the AL playoffs.)

We started Tuesday by driving the 12 miles and 25 minutes to the Meridian temple open house.  We drove through a lot of nice family housing on the way.  The immediate setting for this temple is rural on the edge of residential, on the edge of a bench overlooking some river bottoms and is bordered by some small ponds and landscaped walks.  The temple itself seems to me to have a bulky stone look on the order of the Cardston Temple which was designed 100 years or so ago by Church architects who were influenced by the then popular Frank Lloyd Wright prairie school of architecture.  After the open house we returned to the Boise temple for the rest of the day, and then at the end of the evening cheered the Astros on to World Series victory.

Wednesday morning we left for Twin Falls (about a 2 hour drive), and as we were arriving stopped to admire the Snake river gorge just north of town.  We love the mural in the ordinance room which depicts the enormous falls in the river just a mile or two east of the temple.  After doing an endowment session there we drove another 2 hours to Idaho Falls and did another endowment session there.  We loved the new refreshed paintings, murals and furnishings, and the fairly unique 4-stage endowment process, which uses the original temple rooms in the same way as the live presentation from the time when the temple was first dedicated in 1945.

As we were driving toward Idaho Falls, a storm front was passing.  The air was quite dusty and the car shook.  We heard that I-15 was closed that afternoon a few miles east of Idaho Falls because of the blowing dust.

We stayed at a nice motel in Idaho Falls Wednesday night, and had breakfast at a favorite old restaurant, Smitty’s.  Wendy was excited to again be able to have their gluton-free pancakes.  Then we left for Rexburg (30 minute drive), did a temple session there in the late morning, and then left for Afton WY.  This is about a 2 hour drive with the latter part for about 20 miles along the Palasades Reservoir, on the Snake River.  It was a dark and cloudy day with snow line on the surrounding mountains and the scenery very dramatic.  Wendy was driving, so I took a lot of pictures as we traveled along the reservoir.  We had reservations for the 6:30 Star Valley temple session (a necessity because the session was full), and stayed Thursday night at the new Marriott Fairfield Inn.

On Friday morning we left for Logan, a 2 ½ hour drive.  It rained hard most of the way, especially as we went through a couple of mountain ranges.  We passed by Bear Lake and followed the Logan River into the city.  We did a temple session there in the early afternoon, then left for Brigham City and its temple for another session in the early evening.  We then drove to Ogden and stay the night at my sister Dorothy’s place.

On Saturday morning, Quin and Alison joined us for a session at the Ogden temple.  Dorothy wasn’t feeling too well and didn’t go, but roused herself to go with four of us for lunch.  Then we left for home, picking up Wendy’s son Michael in Salt Lake on the way to join us to celebrate Wendy’s birthday on Sunday.

Boise temple from our hotel window

Meridian temple with open house tents

Decorative pond by temple

Boise temple entrance

Snake River gorge at Twin Falls

Bridge over gorge at Twin Falls

Twin Falls temple

Twin Falls temple

Palisades Reservoir

Palisades Reservoir

Palisades Reservoir

Add caption

Star Valley temple

Palisades Reservoir

Temple Holiday Week 1

With the Payson temple closed for cleaning for two weeks, we set out on a Temple workers’ holiday, (which is, of course) to attend as many other temples as possible.  We visited 14 temples in 10 days (12 functioning temples and 2 open houses), drove 1956 miles, and completed family temple work with 32 endowments, 40 couple sealings, and 24 initiatories in these temples.

We left on Tuesday, Oct 24th and took up residence in a patron apartment of the St.George temple for three nights.  We spent Tuesday evening in the temple there, and visited our favorite frozen custard place for toasted almond chocolate malt concrete.  (Nielsen’s from Bountiful has an outpost there.)  On Wednesday, we then drove for the day to the Las Vegas temple.  While there we also had a visit with a first cousin of Wendy’s, Billy Newman.  They saw each often as kids, but not for about 50 years.  He has had an interesting life, served in Viet Nam, rodeo rider, many years in police work, is currently over security at the UNLV Thomas & Mack arena.  He spent 10 years in private security work for guess who?? Donald Trump, protecting Miss World contestants and the like.  He said he couldn’t express any opinion of the President because of papers he signed when he left that employment.

We spent all Thursday in the St. George temple, then had dinner with Eunice, Wendy’s dad’s second wife, who still lives in nearby Bloomington.  She is 91 years old and is pretty well maintained.  She still works a temple shift.  Wendy has made peace with her feelings about Eunice, but we still wonder about the details and history of the relationship with her dad.  She said he was “the love of her life.”  She was married before and again after he died.

On Friday we headed north with Cedar City temple tour tickets.  Another gorgeous temple, and such excitement on the part of the locals.  Sure were a lot of kids helping at the temple.  The temple is in a nice housing area, and very prominently visible coming from the north on the freeway.  We continued on north by way of the Manti temple and did an endowment session there, then arrived home arrived home in the late evening.

At the Cedar temple we found Sister Jessica Starta helping with the Open House.  She was a little girl from the Mt. Zion branch in NC when we were missionaries there.

With Billy Newman

St. George, so white

With Sister Starta at the Cedar City open house

Cedar City temple

See the Utah blue sky

Some Interesting Spanish Fork Cemetery Graves

There are a couple of interesting grave sites in the very south end of the Spanish Fork Cemetery, not far from where JoAnn and Michael are buried.  They are for Olof and Kristina Vikland and for Ernest and Thora Campbell.  This map shows their location:

     The  paternal grandparents of our Taylorsville neighbor Helen Warnick, Olof Peter Viklund and Anna Erika Kristina Anderson, were buried in the Spanish Fork Cemetery not very far from our Lewis family graves.  They were raised in Sweden, and married there in 1896.  He was baptized into the LDS church in 1908 and she in 1913.  They immigrated to Spanish Fork, Utah, in 1914 with their seven children, including their oldest child, Helen’s father, Per Victor Viklund.  Two more children were born in Spanish Fork.  The father Olof was a Blacksmith, who died prematurely in 1918 of Peritonitis, probably brought on by Tuberculosis, according to his death certificate. The mother Anna lived until 1966.  It would be interesting to learn how she survived in this new country, with probably limited language skills, and nine children including two under the age of four when her husband passed away.  Her funeral in the Spanish Fork 6th ward lists participation by a sort of Who’s Who of the town, including JoAnn’s old seminary teacher Brother Whitehead, who lived in our ward when we first came back to Spanish Fork in 1964.
     Find-a-grave memorial
Olif Peter Viklund 
Birth: May 9, 1869
Death: Apr. 19, 1918
Family links:
 Children:
  Victor Per Viklund (1897 - 1984)*
Burial:
Spanish Fork City Cemetery
Spanish Fork
Utah County
Utah, USA
Plot: 18.02 .09
Maintained by: Find A Grave
Originally Created by: John Warnke
Record added: Nov 05, 2005
Find A Grave Memorial# 12260193
     Find-a-grave memorial   
Kristina Anderson Viklund
Birth: Jan. 7, 1877
Death: May 27, 1966
Family links:
 Children:
  Victor Per Viklund (1897 - 1984)*
Burial:
Spanish Fork City Cemetery
Spanish Fork
Utah County
Utah, USA
Plot: 18.02 .10
Maintained by: Find A Grave
Originally Created by: John Warnke
Record added: Nov 05, 2005
Find A Grave Memorial# 12260178

     Near the Viklund graves is the gravesite for Wendy’s relatives, Ernest Campbell and his wife Thora.  Ernest Campbell (“Colonel”) was a step brother to and raised with Wendy’s father Kenneth P. Borg.  He was the son of Anna Hanna Morton by her first husband,  Ernest Murchie Campbell.  That marriage quickly disintegrated and a divorce occurred shortly after the baby was born.  At about the same time, Andrew Moroni Borg’s wife passed away leaving him with a small baby. Andrew Borg and Anna Morton Campbell then married, joining their families with the two two-year-old boys, Kenneth and Ernest.  In addition to the two boys, Andrew and Anna became parents of a younger daughter, Donna Borg.
  
     Find-a-grave memorial
Ernest W. "Colonel" Campbell
Birth: Dec. 4, 1915
Death: Feb. 7, 2008
Obituary:
Completed his earthly mission peacefully on Wednesday, February 7. Daughter-in-law, Liza, a registered nurse, provided loving, skillful and selfless care throughout his illnesses, adding quality to his final years. Born in Salt Lake City, Utah. Raised by his mother Annie Morton Borg and stepfather, Andrew Borg. Married Juanita Nyman. Married for seventeen years. Adopted two children Courtney and Tove Campbell. Juanita died tragically following a three-year battle with breast cancer. Leave Colonel with two young children to raise. Sealed to Thora Johnson in the Salt Lake Temple. Was a widow with three daughters. Became a stepfather to Shirley (Dwayne) McCartney, Evelyn (Nick) Duka and Susan Williams. Colonel and Thora had four children: Kimberly (Steve) Green, David (Lisa), Christine and Heather.
Served an mission in New Zealand for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Corporal in the U.S. Army during World War II, serving in the European theatre. Recipient of four bronze stars. Chief accountant at KALL Radio for 32 years. Retired at 62 to start his own business, Campbell Clan, producing and marketing specialty notepads, distributed in seven states.
Survived by his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Predeceased by his wives Juanita Nyman Campbell and Thora Johnson Campbell, brother Kenneth P. Borg and sister Donna B. Norton.
Burial:
Spanish Fork City Cemetery
Spanish Fork
Utah County
Utah, USA
Maintained by: Find A Grave
Originally Created by: John Warnke
Record added: Feb 10, 2008
Find A Grave Memorial# 24550105

     Thora Johnson was the second wife of Ernest Campbell. She had also been previously married and was widowed.  Her parents, Marinus Johnson and Kate Arnason, were born and raised in Spanish Fork.  Their parents were all born in Iceland and were LDS converts who settled in Spanish Fork in the 1880s.  Here are some records for Thora and her family of origin.

     1930 U S Census for Elberta, Utah, Utah (Sheet 2B, hh# 55/55, 8 Apr)
Marinus E Johnson Head M W age 34 Mg at age 20  b.UT  Farmer
Katie A Johnson   Wife F W age 34 Mg at age 20  b.UT
Lavern Johnson    Dau F W age 12  b.UT
Marinus E Johnson Son M W age 9  b.UT
Thora L Johnson   Dau F W age 6  b.UT
Darlene Johnson   Dau F W age 4  b.UT
     1940 U S Census for Spanish Fork, Utah, Utah (Sheet 10A, hh# 166, 13 Apr)
Marenus Johnson      Head M W age 46  Md  Ed: grade 6  b.UT  Farmer
Kate Johnson         Wife F w age 44  Md  Ed: grade 8  b.UT
Laverne Johnson      Dau F W age 22 Ed: 1 year college b.UT Stenographer
Marenus Johnson, Jr. Son M W age 19 Ed: 2 years HS  b.UT
Thora Johnson        Dau F W age 16 Ed: 2 year HS  b.UT
Darlene Johnson      Dau F W age 14 Ed: grade 9  b.UT
     U.S., Social Security Applications and Claims Index, 1936-2007
Name: Thora Leone Johnson [Thora Johnson Williams] [Thora Campbell]
Gender: Female
Race: White
Birth Date: 30 Jun 1923
Birth Place: Salt Lake City, Utah
Death Date: 2 May 2001
Father: Marinus E Johnson
Mother: Katie H Arnason
SSN: 529203610
Notes: Jul 1941: Name listed as THORA LEONE JOHNSON; Apr 1951: Name listed as THORA JOHNSON WILLIAMS; Feb 1973: Name listed as THORA JOHNSON CAMPBELL; 02 Sep 1987: Name listed as THORA J CAMPBELL
     Find-a-grave memorial
Thora L. Johnson Campbell
Birth: Jun. 30, 1923
Death: May 2, 2001
Burial:
Spanish Fork City Cemetery
Spanish Fork
Utah County
Utah, USA
Plot: 18.09 .10
Maintained by: Find A Grave
Originally Created by: John Warnke
Record added: Jun 06, 2005
Find A Grave Memorial# 11096156

     Ernest and Thora had four children between them including David Campbell, who some of us met at the Bonnie Borg Johnson viewing.

An Extraordinary Little Book and Family Connections

 A number of years ago, to support my children serving as LDS missionaries, I wrote a statement about my conviction of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, which included a description of an experience that served as the beginnings of my testimony of this book:

“In the home, my mother introduced her LDS beliefs to me and my sister Dorothy.  During one of the times when she gathered her children by her to talk of religious things, I had an experience which provided a foundation for my spiritual development in life.  I was about age 7 or 8 at the time and remember sitting by my mother leaning against her arm while she read aloud from the Book of Mormon.  She paused and commented that the Lord has promised that he will testify to persons through the Holy Ghost of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon and the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  She asked if we had ever felt such promptings of the Holy Ghost.  I started to reply, "No, I don't think I have felt any of these things", when the most unusual feeling came over me.  A warmness and excitement came into my heart that I had never experienced before and I felt a sort of a thrill go up and down my spine.  I came to recognize these feelings as being similar to that described by two disciples of the Lord in the Luke 24:32, and am convinced that the Holy Ghost had witnessed to me at that young age of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.”  (p. 4, My Testimony of the Book of Mormon, Pt. I. in my little book for family: “Nearer to God; The Book of Mormon and the Good News of Christ”)

I would like to add some details to this account.  As I have reflected more upon this experience, I believe that my mother, to introduce her children to her religious convictions, used both the Book of Mormon itself but also a small book for children written by William A. Morton.  The latter combined two volumes written many years before by Brother Morton: “From Plowboy to Prophet” (originally published in 1912) and “Mother Stories from the Book of Mormon” (originally published in 1911).  I now believe that my mother had been reading from the latter rather than the Book of Mormon itself at the time of the experience mentioned above.

I found the following quote interesting, suggesting that these Morton books were widely used by Church families with children in the early 1900s and also showing that President Hinckley felt he had been blessed by the Mother Stories book, similar to my experience:

"While sorting through some books in my library recently, I came across a little volume whose back was broken and whose leaves were loose, a condition that came from much use by careless but loving hands of small children who treasured that volume from which our mother read to us. The book is MOTHER STORIES FROM THE BOOK OF MORMON by William Albert Morton. It was first published about 1911. "As I thumbed through the pages, there came into my mind pictures of cold winter nights when we sat about the stove in our home, our mother reading to us about the great characters of the Nephite record. "This was my first introduction to the Book of Mormon. Reading from the Book of Mormon itself occurred when we were a little older and could understand the more difficult language and the more complex thread of the story. It was in those initial circumstances that there developed within us a love for this sacred volume and for other wonderful pieces of writing that she shared with us." (from “The Wondrous Power of a Mother” by Gordon B. and Marjorie P. Hinckley, quoted in a description of the book Mother Stories From the Book of Mormon, in an internet advertisement of a current reprint, accessed October 6, 2017)

William A. Morton was a convert to Church, being baptized as a young man in 1890, in Banbridge, Down, Ireland.  After his conversion, he and his wife and child immigrated almost immediately to Utah.  He was a printer and typesetter for the Deseret News, and authored a number of books on religious topics.  He served two missions to Great Britain, from 1906-1909 and again from 1921-1923.  During the latter time, he was editor of the Millennial Star.  He died in 1930 in Salt Lake City at age 64.

In about 1944, when I was 6 or 7 years old, our family was living on our little farm in Glenwood, Washington, my dad working long hours in a logging job and also tending the farm.  Our country was absorbed in the fighting of World War II.  We were generally attending a little Bible-oriented Protestant church in Glenwood, and were quite isolated from the LDS Church.  The nearest LDS church was in Hood River, Oregon, more than an hour’s drive away, but impossible to attend due to gasoline rationing and other things. We had no nearby members of the Church.  My mother, maybe from a subscription she was maintaining of the Church’s Improvement Era magazine (predecessor to The Ensign), happened to see a note that Deseret Book had re-published two little books for children that William A. Morton had written many years before.  (I assume that her mother Kate may have had a copy when my mother was a little girl.)  My mother wrote to her father, Frank Davenport, who was now widowed and who was recently retired and had moved to Utah and was now living in the home of his son Franklin.  She asked if he would buy a copy of the newly re-published Morton book for her.  In the front of this book she obtained, my grandfather has written in his beautiful script:
       To Hazel
                   From Papa
        Provo, Utah 3/24/44

I have this very copy of the book in my library.

After Wendy and I were married, there was a day when were talking about her family heritage and she happened to mention the name of William A. Morton.  One of his daughters was Annie Hanna Morton.  I learned that Wendy’s father, Kenneth Borg, had lost his mother when he was two years old.  Kenneth’s father, Andrew Moroni Borg, was remarried shortly thereafter to Annie Hanna Morton.  Therefore Annie Morton Borg, daughter of William A. Morton, was Wendy’s grandmother figure on her dad’s side of the family, during her growing-up years.

As I think about this connection, I am powerfully moved by the thought that Wendy has in her genealogy a man who wrote a little book for children, that my mother was inspired to go to a lot of trouble to seek out, while living in a situation far removed from the influence of the Church, and read this book to a little boy, who gained from this experience a foundational testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon and of the Lord’s Church.

Forgiveness in Families

Elder Mark A. Bragg of the Seventy, a speaker in last April General Conference, referred to some interesting studies of successful organizations by Kim Cameron, a Professor of Business Management at the University of Michigan and also LDS church member and leader.  Dr. Cameron reported that certain positive leadership behaviors within human organizations, including social communities, businesses, and families, promote “life-giving , flourishing outcomes.  Elder Bragg states that “it makes perfect sense that as people turn towards the positive (light), the attributes perfectly exemplified by the Light of the World, Jesus Christ, are present!”  He identified three critical components of this light, as applied in a successful organizational culture, compassion, forgiveness, and gratitude.

I’d like to focus on the application of these principles in families, and especially the importance of forgiveness.  There are no perfect families.  There are no perfect parents.  There are no perfect children.  To enjoy the benefits of family-- love, support, strength--these imperfections need forgiveness.  Day in and day out, to promote good family chemistry and spirit, family members need to exhibit forgiveness.  This includes efforts in two directions.

First, persons need to be sensitive to signs that they may have offended another family member and be quick to extend apologies.  Sometimes, there may the need for us to express sorrow over the existence of interpersonal problems, even when there is the appearance to us, at least initially, that we are not the one at fault.  At the height of the situation when Wendy was separating from her first husband, she spent a Saturday in the temple praying to know what she needed to do to move on with her life and have feelings of peace.  While attending sacrament meeting the next day, a strong spiritual impression came to her that she should make an apology to him.  Here was a situation in which he had abandoned his Church and temple covenants, been insensitive and even verbally abusive in many of their interactions for many years, turned their children in negative directions, and had been unfaithful with other women.  Why would the Spirit direct Wendy to ask forgiveness?  After some initial pondering, she obeyed this prompting, writing a letter in which she asked forgiveness for anything she had done that was hurtful to him.  It didn’t matter to her if or how he might respond.  She felt a great sense of peace afterward, as if she had now done absolutely everything that was her responsibility in this relationship.  I had a similar experience recently regarding a conflict with another leader over how we should carry out our 11 year old scout program.  I felt justified, yet the spiritual prompting came that I needed to apologize.  When I did, I sensed that it had been good to acknowledge his feelings and disappointment, although nothing much was changed regarding the way the program would need to be be operated or the antagonism of the other person.  Still, obeying the Spirit was very comforting and satisfying and gave me peace.

Second, persons should be quick to accept such forgiveness when offered.  Additionally, problems in relationships need to not be left to fester, but be approached with sensitivity and love.  Some wise person suggested what they called  the 80% rule, that you will have trouble effecting problem behavior of another person when positive interactions are less that 80% between you two.  In other words, when four/fifths of your interactions are positive then you stand a chance of having the other persons accept corrective communication.

Still, there may exist issues where there is no sensitivity on the part of the other person that offense has been given, but it is impractical or impossible to raise the issue for some kind of resolution. Sometimes, we just have to “let offenses go.”  Sometimes we will need to make a judgement that raising an issue may have inherent risks that are not worth the potential fuss.  We may need to forgive “in quiet,” to come to some sort of peace about the situation all by ourselves and move on.

Beyond small day by day interactions, it seems to me that there are two broad areas where forgiveness might be needed.  Evan Stephens prayed: “Forgive the follies and faults of youth” (p. 91 in our hymnbooks).  As children, we make mistakes, especially in our relationships with brothers and sisters and sometimes also with parents.  Recently, I was remembering that I did a lot of teasing of my sister Dorothy when we were children, and mentioned that to her along with telling her that I was sorry for this.  I was relieved for her to say that she didn’t remember any problems and to see that she had carried no bitterness over into her adulthood.  Also in one of our last conversations with Wendy’s littler sister Bonnie (two and a half years younger) before she passed away, they were recalling some stories of Wendy’s ill treatment of her when they both were young.  On one occasion (at about age 8 or 9) Wendy had tied her to an apple tree in their back yard, then pelted her with rotten apples. There were other incidents also.  As life went on, Wendy had expressed her sorrow to Bonnie over her earlier treatment, and we are grateful that there was no carry over into adulthood of any resentment over these events.  Adulthood requires that people forgive hurtful childish and youthful behaviors of their siblings or other youths.  As the Revenant, mountainman Hugh Glass is reported to have said, when meeting the young Jim Bridger after the latter with an adult companion has abandoned a desperately wounded Hugh hundreds of miles from care and safety on the high plains of Wyoming, “I forgive you, for your youth.”  We should do the same, and not carry over childhood issues into adulthood.

Further, there may be a need in some cases for us to reconcile with our parents over our childish or youthful mistakes and also to forgive ourselves for our childish or youthful mistakes.  The past follies and faults of youth need to be forgiven and forgotten.

A second broad issue that may require some forgiveness has to do with our parents and how we were raised and even how we may be treated as adults by our parents.  As we noted above, just as just as there are no perfect children, there are no perfect parents.  Our experience as adults, especially as we become parents ourselves, should persuade us to be tolerant of mistakes our own parents might have made.  When we were being raised, our parents had no prior experience with parenting, plus they may have been burdened with less than perfect examples from their parents.

Wisdom from marital counseling practice suggests that some persons may grow into adults having internalized an erroneous sense of “entitlement” which they expect as a sort of right, but which are really dysfunctonal and a potential cause of contention.  In a small way, I experienced this myself early in my marriage to JoAnn.  When I was a child, when my Dad got home from work, my mother would say to us kids, “Your dad works so hard, give him a few minutes to read the paper.”  I somehow came to think that this was a entitlement belonging to all dads, to be able to read today’s newspaper without having the kids bother him when arrives home from work, or without being expected to take on other family duties for a time.  I soon realized that as a father my family was different, more kids, more stresses on the wife.  Things went better in our family, when arriving home from work if I gave immediate attention to the kids and also looked around to see if there were household tasks that I could help with.  I had to dismiss this newspaper reading “entitlement” that I had inherited from my own growing up family.  In successful families, it is beneficial to identify the existence of such expectations and then dismiss them.

Parents have obligations for their care of minor children, but probably not much toward their children when grown.  But sometimes children grow up still retaining a belief that as adults their parents still are obligated to them in some ways.  I think that kind of sense of “entitlement” is destructive to family relationships.

Here is a personal example of what could have been dysfunctional entitlement thinking.  When JoAnn and I got married, we had had very little contact with my parents as a couple.  My mother came to Utah for the reception and had not previously met JoAnn.  The wedding didn’t give us much time with her.  My father stayed at home in Washington.  The next summer they planned a trip to Virginia to get acquainted with his cousins and on their way back home to visit us in Utah.  I was excited about this, especially to have them see our new baby Alison.  She was so very cute.

They stayed a couple of days, and it seemed to me that all they were interested in doing was to report to us on the great experience they had had with the relatives in Virginia.  They showed very little interest in this wonderful little being that JoAnn and I had created.  I had a few days of feeling disappointment and frustration, but then asked myself, “Why should I be angry at my parents.  They did everything they knew how to and were capable of to raise me and prepare me for life.  Now I am a grown up with a family of my own, and they are getting older.  While it might have been nice to have them make a big fuss of our baby, why should I need something more from my parents than what they have already given me?  Just be grateful for all this plus that they have had a chance for some satisfying experiences with the Virginia relatives.  What right do I have to feel entitled to receive more from them?”

In our extended family, we can cite some instances where it appears that grown up children have retained some long-term anger toward their parents for some perceived omission, maybe in childhood or earlier adulthood.  It seems to me that forgiveness is needed on the part of the grown child.  I think that a person truly enters into adulthood for themselves, when they can say and believe, “I know that my parents weren’t perfect, but I feel that they did the best for me they knew how.  I forgive them if they made mistakes.  Now that I am an adult, I take responsibility for myself.  My parents don’t owe me anything.  But I am grateful for the love and support that they chose to give.”

Investing in the future

A few weeks ago, I went to our dentist, Dr. Stan Clark, with a sore tooth which he pronounced as abcessed, and recommended that it be pulled.  His professional opinion was that it was not saveable.  So we had him do the job.  It left a gap in my bottom front teeth, not a full tooth's worth, however, because the front four from which this tooth came were crowded and partially behind or in front of others.  He suggested that an orthodontist could move them so that the three would approximately fill the available space.  So, he referred us to Drs. Trapnell, two brothers with good reputations who practice orthodontistry in Spanish Fork.  

I debated in my own mind whether it would be worthwhile to get a tooth-straightening job at my age.  I finally decided that I would vote for the future and do it, both for my own good looks and for being able to eat corn right off the cob for several more years.

I got the braces on this morning, and will have them for about a year.  I am already feeling great empathy for the grand-children who have had to go through this.

Addendum 10/4/17
Here's the rest of the story.  I got the braces off this morning, but not, Valerie, that I am no longer interested in the future.  At dinner on the day when I got the braces on, I bit down on a piece of meatloaf and one of the connectors came off on the left side; then I tried to chew a piece of Zucchini (steamed, soft) and lost two connectors on the right side; while eating a bite of ice cream after dinner I lost another connector on the left.  Since then I stayed with really soft foods, yogurt, soup, oatmeal, to try not to disturb anything else.  I was able to get an appointment with the orthodontist for this morning, to talk things over and possibly re-glue these connectors.  Apparently, it is easier to get the glue to bond with regular tooth enamel, than with artificial stuff, crowns, etc.  I then decided I didn't want to go another 363 days worrying about what to eat, how to chew, and have the discomfort I found associated with braces, plus the uncertainty of having emergencies to go back in to get the braces reattached.  So I had him removed what was left and I am braces free.   Hurray!

Developmental Stages: Implications for Adult Progress

I want to write about some scholarly ideas that have greatly influenced my thinking about life and values, and seem to me to support and tie closely to certain gospel themes about marriage, family, and personal development and progression.  These ideas were presented to me during my graduate studies in social work, and concern the pattern of successful human development that tends to maximize a person’s happiness, functionality, and positive contribution to society over their entire lifetime.  They have their basis in the theories of child and human development of Erik Erikson, who was a prominent psychoanalyst and Harvard University professor of psychiatry a number of years ago.  The summary and interpretation that follow are my own.  While I am not in general a fan of psychoanalysis and find some of its concepts and vocabulary strained and even offensive, the general thrust of Erikson’s work has meaning to me.

Erikson proposed that in the process of human social development there were eight steps, “the eight ages (or stages) of man.”  Building on Freudian theory of childhood processes, Erickson’s thought encompassed the entire human experience, ranging from birth through old age.

Erikson conceptualized each stage as having a specific learning or developmental target.  Failure to successfully master that target leaves a person vulnerable to later problems and less capable of achieving later development.  For example, the initial stage posited by Erikson, which relates to the infancy time period, he called “Basic Trust vs. Basic Mistrust." It is profoundly influenced by the world in which the baby finds itself.  Does the baby learn that his or her outside world provides consistency, continuity, and goodness that is reliable?  If not developing this basic trust, the child may predictably have more difficulty in mastering the learning and development required in subsequent stages of life.

These eights stages, stated by Erikson in terms of both the ideal target development and its opposite, with the approximate ages to which the stage applies, are:
1) Basic Trust vs. Basic Mistrust         Infancy
2) Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt    Early childhood
3) Initiative vs. Guilt                             Pre-school
4) Industry vs. Inferiority                      Early school/Pre-teen
5) Identity vs. Role Confusion              Adolescence
6) Intimacy vs. Isolation                       Young adulthood
7) Generativity vs. Stagnation             Full adulthood
8) Ego Integrity vs. Despair                 Elderly

I am particularly interested in the adult stages.  First, regarding the culmination of the adolescent period, in the ideal youths have discovered their own purpose or mission, a place where they can make a contribution.  Ideally also, their identity matches their physicality and sexual DNA and they are comfortable with this connection.  This period is quite self-focused however, but important in its preparation to take on adult roles and responsibilities.  The next periods test and stretch the person’s ability to get outside oneself and largely focus on expansion of the person’s human relationships. 

Stage 6, Intimacy vs. Isolation, as defined by Erikson is “the capacity to commit...to concrete affiliations and partnerships, and to develop the ethical strength to abide by such commitments, even though they may call for significant sacrifices and compromises” (Erikson, p. 263, Childhood and Society).  To me, the culmination of this stage is the entering into and maintaining a marital relationship which is mutually satisfying and supportive to both parties.  Unfortunately, we see a number of chronological adults who are remain too weak in their identity or too adolescently self-loving to initiate a relationship that can progress unto marriage or that have failing marriages for the same reasons.  To me, being able to establish a marriageable relationship is an important mark of the achievement of adulthood, and may take some time to achieve.  I, for one, required a number of years past my teens to reach a point in my social and personal development where I could form such a relationship.  And that is just a starting point in learning how to more fully give oneself to and support and strengthen such a relationship.

Stage 7, Generativity vs. Stagnation, according to Erikson includes productivity and creativity, but is primarily “the concern in establishing and guiding the next generation,” and is the central role in teaching and instituting constructive human development (Erikson, pp. 266-267).  Like a college graduation speaker said recently, in effect, “Graduation speakers often challenge the graduates to change the world.  But I will tell you how to really change the world.  Raise children who will change the world.” 

Generativity then, ideally, involves for a person the continuing enlargement beyond the Stage 6 level, of close human relationships and the giving and sacrifice of oneself to the benefit of these developing persons.  Such generativity requires additional growth in the “ethical strength” to place others’ needs and growth ahead of one’s own interests, or perhaps to make the former one’s primary interest.  A byproduct of this performance, of course, is the enhancement of one’s own development as a person and as a social being. Seemingly, this essential growth cannot occur in any other way.

Reference: Erik H. Erikson, Childhood and Society, 2nd Ed.   New York: W. W. Norton & Co., 1963.

Two Priesthoods, Objectives, Ordinances, Covenants, Principles and Their Reminders

Moroni gives faith, hope, and charity a significant position in the gospel framework when he quotes the Savior saying that faith, hope, and charity “bringeth unto me.” (Ether 12:28) This reminded me of a concept taught by Bruce Hafen in the book that we read two years ago, The Contrite Spirit, (chapter 6) where he distinguishes between gospel matters belonging to the Aaronic as compared to the Melchizedek priesthoods.  He cites numerous scriptures that teach us of a preparatory gospel and also of higher ordinances and principles.  The first level is foundational and we never lose the need to practice those things but we also need the higher level to have the atonement of Christ fully efficacious in our lives and to become like he is.

This is a comparison:

AARONIC LEVEL   
Objectives:
– Enter into the path of discipleship
– Relieve us from the burden of our sins/forgiveness
– Individual salvation 
Ordinances 
– Baptism
– Sacrament   
Covenants  
– Obedience
– Discipleship (remembering Christ, witnessing of him)
– Bear others’ burdens  
Principles:
– Faith
– Repentance   

MELCHIZEDEK LEVEL
Objectives:
– Sanctification
– Endure to the end
– Bring us to Christ
– Perfection/finishing/completeness
– Exaltation (in families)
Ordinances :
– Endowment
– Temple sealings
Covenants:
– Obedience
– Sacrifice
– Gospel/higher level of relationships
– Marital faithfulness
– Consecration
Principles:
– Faith
– Hope
– Charity

These latter principles are taught explicitly in 2 Nephi 31:19-21 as being a part of the "endure to the end" phase (e.g., Melchizedek level) of discipleship--faith is steadfastness, charity is the love of God and all men.

Here is an added thought that Wendy and I had this week.  Maybe this is not a perfect analogy, but it felt good spiritually.  I loved Valerie’s blog of 10 September about the sacrament, especially about the repetitive renewal function it plays, ever 7 days reminding us of the covenant of discipleship we made earlier in our lives, not allowing us to forget our need for him and his atonement and example.   Now look at the chart above.  The sacrament is our constant reminder of the lesser gospel level (and more, of course).  But we thought, “Could not the endowment also play a similar repetitive, renewal, remembering role for the higher level matters, for the higher covenants and principles?”  We would need to be in the temple regularly for this to have the chance to happen, of course.

Have a peach of a day

3 inch + peaches--Notice that we are keeping them by a cold air vent

We'll add about 35 jars of peaches to our storage.

The last of our peach crop waiting to be processed.

Here the three trees stand, empty of fruit.

We are nearly through peach bottling season, and it has been exceptional.  Peaches dominate our little back-yard orchard.  We have three little dwarf trees which are timed to give us fresh peach-like fruit for a wonderful part of late summer, an exciting and satisfying 6-8 weeks of eating and preparation to have this delicacy available year round.  I cannot think any other fruit that compares with the results of this growing effort: peach cobbler, peach pie, peaches with ice cream, peaches on cereal, peach yogurt.  To me, if any fruit could be called Heavenly, it is peaches, particularly tree-ripened peaches.  In our small backyard orchard, we have the luxury of letting the individual fruits ripen and sweeten on the trees.  I use the same picking strategy for all three trees.  At least once or maybe twice a day, I go out to the trees.  I take hold of each individual fruit that appears to be near ripe.  I tug gently and carefully collect those fruits that come off in my hand, trying not to bruise or drop the individual fruit.  Immediately or within a day or two, we have a collection of wonderful, sweet, tasty, luscious peaches.  I have a strong sense of excitement and accomplishment when I bring the day’s peach production into our kitchen.

Our peach production starts toward the end of July with a little Nectarine tree that we dug up and brought to Spanish Fork when Wendy and I were married.  It had been a gift to Wendy from her son John, sensitive and thoughtful man that he is, a year or so before, and it thrived in its new home.  The fruit looks and tastes exactly like a peach except it has purple, shiny skin like a plum, and is more plum-like in size.  The fruit does not seem to be suitable for bottling or preservation, but it gives us our early season peach fix.

The second tree is an Early Elberta.  Its peaches start to ripen mid-August, and are available for a 2-3 week period.  Generally these peaches are small to medium in size (maybe 2 inches in diameter).  They are tasty and acceptable for bottling, although the bottled fruit seem not as solid as the fruit from tree number three.  Wendy likes the size for bottling because half a peach will fit into a standard jar.

The third tree is a Late (or regular) Elberta. Its peaches start to ripen about the end of August and like the other trees become available over a 2-3 week period.  The peaches it produces are larger and firmer than the early variety, and are perhaps the ideal bottling peach.  Its peaches this year were unusually large and beautiful.  Many of the fruits were 3 to 3 ½ inches in diameter.

Over my years of backyard orchard experience, I have decided that, at least for me, peaches are the ideal backyard orchard fruit.  Laying aside comparison of how delicious the end product is, I have found peach trees to require less maintenance than most of the other fruit trees that will grow in Utah’s climate.  You need to do just one severe pruning each Spring to manage tree growth.  Unlike apples and cherries, there is no need to get on a complicated spray schedule to avoid wormy fruit.  While there is some similarity in the maintenance of apricot trees to that of peaches, peaches have the great advantage in our climate that you are nearly assured that you will have fruit every year.

We love our peaches.

Obsessing over low-level matters

I found a wonderful, meaningful quote from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland* in the little Sherrie Dew book I was given for Father’s Day:

“...Not all gospel questions have answers—yet—but they will come.  In the meantime, I have a question.  What conceivable historical or doctrinal or procedural issue that may arise among any group could ever overshadow or negate one’s consuming spiritual conviction regarding [I present these in outline form]
     – the Father’s merciful plan of salvation;
     – His Only Begotten Son’s birth, mission, Atonement, and Resurrection;
     – the reality of the First Vision;
     – the restoration of the priesthood;
     – the receipt of divine revelation, both personally and institutionally;
     – the soul-shaping spirit and moving power of the Book of Mormon;
     – the awe and majesty of the temple endowment;
     – one’s own personal experience with true miracles;
     – and on and on and on?
Talk about a question!  It is a mystery to me how those majestic, eternal, first-level truths so central to the grandeur of the whole gospel message can be set aside or completely dismissed by some in favor of obsessing over second- or third- or fourth-level pieces of that whole.  To me, this is, in words attributed to Edith Wharton, truly being trapped in “the thick of thin things.”” 

I feel the both the logic and the power of his question.  I love expressive words and phrases such as these: “the soul-shaping spirit and moving power of the Book of Mormon” “the awe and majesty of the temple endowment.”  Yet we seem to live in a day when “Obsessing over second- or third- or fourth-level pieces” has become the norm.  This is not only in Church circles, but also in society in general.  Everything said by Pres. Trump, differences in Republican viewpoints, what will happen to people’s medical insurance, environmental threats, problems with the economy, problems with government, Civil War symbols, threats to police, police bias, gender bias, racial bias, bias against trans persons, bias against the handicapped, bias against the aged, bias against Moslems, bias against religion, and on and on and on, all become reasons for mighty obsessing.  And obsessions competing with obsessions.

Might these all be second- or third- or fourth-level pieces of something greater?  And that is....?

*Address to CES Religious Educators, February 6, 2015, Salt Lake Tabernacle

A Marriage to Remember

I happened to be reading an fawning article that was supportive of the decision of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell to never marry, in spite of the fact that they had a child plus he had become the father-figure for a couple of children from her prior marriage, with the illogical and absurd quote, “If we had married, we wouldn’t have stayed together.”  Yet there was a sort of grudging admission that the three children, now grown, still wished that their parents (real or de facto) were officially married.

I was reminded of a marriage I performed when I was serving as Bishop.  There was an elderly sister in our ward, who came into Church activity late in her life, went to the temple, and was well-loved in the ward.  She was outgoing and giving.  She came to me one day and asked if I would be willing to perform a marriage of her grandson. She had helped raise him.  Now at about age 35 or 40, he had a long term live-in relationship with a women and as a matter of fact had become the father-figure to (I think) her three children from a prior marriage, helping raise them to adulthood.  The grandmother had been urging them to marry for quite a long time and they had finally consented.  These people were mostly living out-of-state and to my understanding were not members of the Church.  The extended family was gathering for a Christmas celebration at the grandmother’s place in our ward.  I met with the couple and everything seemed in order for the marriage to happen.

It was to be on a Sunday, a couple of days before Christmas, at the grandmother’s house.  We were on an early meeting schedule.  As planned, I arrived at the house at about 4 pm.  The grandmother invited me in and I sat down in a chair and waited without any introductions.  The house was filled with Christmas preparations and several dozen people interacting.  After a few minutes the grandmother stood up and got people’s attention.  She said something to the effect of, “We have a guest with us.  This is Bishop Lewis from my LDS ward.  He has come here to perform the marriage of ____________ and __________.   The group in attendance included the grown children of the women, other relatives, and even grandchildren as I recall.  Apparently, no one had been warned that this marriage was going to happen. There was an obvious murmur that went through the group and then a very spontaneous clapping and happy cheers.

I performed the ceremony
and left the excited and happy family to go home to start our own Christmas.  But I will always remember the joyfulness associated with this marriage celebration, and have concluded that intuitively people feel that marriage is good and desirable no matter their backgrounds or practices.

After Family Camp

Picture of our Storage Shed on Saturday

It took us a week to get up the energy to get everything cleaned up and put away from our Lewis Family Camp, but it sure feels good.

To hear or not to hear? That is the question.

While Wendy and I were missionaries in North Carolina, I began to notice some changes in my hearing.  For one thing, I was having trouble hearing Sacrament speakers who were female.  I had particular difficulty understanding those with Southern accents who also talked fast, such as the Branch President’s wife, bless her heart.

I recall a time when Wendy and I were driving down 1-40 from Raleigh to Mt. Zion, and I said something to her that she won’t let me forget, “Did anyone ever tell you that you have a lisp? You’re not saying your S’s.”  Actually she doesn’t have a lisp–I was just not hearing the high pitches that form the S sound.

When we got home in June 2010, I immediately had my hearing tested and, with the recommendation of the audiologist, purchased a set of hearing aids.  They were state of the art for that time.  They were rather expensive, but came with free consultation and support from the same professionals.  Therefore, I have been able to get adjustments, to try to keep up with any further changes in my hearing.

Recently, I have been noticing more instances when I am having to ask people to repeat, when I am not fully comprehending Sacrament speakers with higher voices, not hearing temple whispers, plus I have been frustrated with a lot of whistles and noise feedback in my current hearing aids.  So, I had another visit with my audiologist last week, and she let me try a new pair of devices utilizing current technology.  She claimed that there have been a lot of technical advances in the seven years since I bought my original hearing aids.  Having worn the test devices for a week, only going back to my oldies for one day to experience the difference, we have made the decision to invest in the latest hearing assistance technology. The audiologist calls the new ones "Ferrari's of hearing."  The difference are subtle but profound.  In addition to the increase in comfort, I sense I am again hearing everything, fully sounding like it did many years ago.

For a few moments, I hated the cost, but it seems like a sacrifice that can guarantee my remaining in the world of relationships and love, which for me at least, requires good hearing.  (I apologize for this to those who have lifelong hearing disabilities, and learned to overcome this handicap–but as a lifelong hearing person, I need this kind of assistance.)  I still want to be able to fully enter into conversations especially with those I fell closest to.  I want to fully be a part of social gatherings, being able to grasp nuances of expression in other parts of a room.  I don’t want to have to ask others to repeat themselves, to understand things.  I don’t want to worry about speaking inappropriately loud in quiet places.  I don’t want to be like a number of grumpy old men I know of, who think hearing aids are too big a bother, and cut themselves off from human interaction, and thus from what is most significant about human life.

Here are some of the advertised features of my new devices.  Exciting, huh?

DuoPhone: Improves understanding on the phone by automatically streaming the caller's voice to the other ear, so that the voice is heard in both ears simultaneously.
WindBlock: Utilizes a wind identification and classification system, that automatically and adaptively suppresses wind noise.
SoundRelax: Cushions otherwise unpleasant impulse sounds without affecting speech clarity or causing unnatural perception of other sounds.
StereoZoom: Zooms in on a single voice in a diffuse noisy environment, improving speech intelligibility by up to 60%.
EchoBlock: Improves listening experience in reverberant environments like large assembly halls, places of worship and rooms with reflective surfaces.
UltraZoom: Adaptive multi-channel beamforming technology, which improves speech intelligibility within noisy situations.
Speech in Loud Noise: Zooms in on a single voice in a diffuse noisy environment, improving speech intelligibility.
Speech in 360º: Automatically selects the direction of speech and streams this to the other ear, improving speech intelligibility without the need to face the speaker.
Speech in Wind: Better speech understanding even on a windy day.
Calm Situation: Provides optimal gain for speech understanding and listening comfort when engaging in one-on-one conversations in quiet.
Speech in Noise: Adapts and reduces noise from behind in real time and applies and optimizes the signal-to-noise ratio (SNR) in noisy environments.
Comfort in Noise: Actively reduces noise for increased comfort when no speech is present.
Music: Offers an expanded dynamic range, slow compression speed and more gain for a fuller and richer music experience.
Speech in Car: Reduces broadband noise in the car to create a stable listening environment for easy communication, reduced effort.
Comfort in Echo: Recognizes the frequency of any reverberation and applies the appropriate amount of gain reduction, resulting in less distortion, making speech more comfortable.