A Marriage to Remember

I happened to be reading an fawning article that was supportive of the decision of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell to never marry, in spite of the fact that they had a child plus he had become the father-figure for a couple of children from her prior marriage, with the illogical and absurd quote, “If we had married, we wouldn’t have stayed together.”  Yet there was a sort of grudging admission that the three children, now grown, still wished that their parents (real or de facto) were officially married.

I was reminded of a marriage I performed when I was serving as Bishop.  There was an elderly sister in our ward, who came into Church activity late in her life, went to the temple, and was well-loved in the ward.  She was outgoing and giving.  She came to me one day and asked if I would be willing to perform a marriage of her grandson. She had helped raise him.  Now at about age 35 or 40, he had a long term live-in relationship with a women and as a matter of fact had become the father-figure to (I think) her three children from a prior marriage, helping raise them to adulthood.  The grandmother had been urging them to marry for quite a long time and they had finally consented.  These people were mostly living out-of-state and to my understanding were not members of the Church.  The extended family was gathering for a Christmas celebration at the grandmother’s place in our ward.  I met with the couple and everything seemed in order for the marriage to happen.

It was to be on a Sunday, a couple of days before Christmas, at the grandmother’s house.  We were on an early meeting schedule.  As planned, I arrived at the house at about 4 pm.  The grandmother invited me in and I sat down in a chair and waited without any introductions.  The house was filled with Christmas preparations and several dozen people interacting.  After a few minutes the grandmother stood up and got people’s attention.  She said something to the effect of, “We have a guest with us.  This is Bishop Lewis from my LDS ward.  He has come here to perform the marriage of ____________ and __________.   The group in attendance included the grown children of the women, other relatives, and even grandchildren as I recall.  Apparently, no one had been warned that this marriage was going to happen. There was an obvious murmur that went through the group and then a very spontaneous clapping and happy cheers.

I performed the ceremony
and left the excited and happy family to go home to start our own Christmas.  But I will always remember the joyfulness associated with this marriage celebration, and have concluded that intuitively people feel that marriage is good and desirable no matter their backgrounds or practices.