Its Eagle 13!!!

Eric passed his eagle board tonight.

Spring blossoms

At this moment, 3 pm, on March 16th, the temperature is 74 degrees.  Our fruit and flowering trees have suckered by the warm winter to believe that time for frost is past.  The popcorn is fully popped on our two apricot trees.  Blossoms started to appear today on the Bradford Pears.  And pink is starting to show on our Early Elberta peach.

Monday morning bullets

• We had the 6 Lewis grandchildren come for Sunday dinner yesterday, while their parents are traveling in Europe after Matthew’s work related visit to Dubai.

• We will be released from our work at the Provo temple at the end of March, and assume that we will be recalled as temple workers in the Payson temple when it opens in June.  Actually Wendy already knows something about her position.  She had an interview with one of the matrons on last Tuesday and then got a call asking her to be a women’s shift coordinator for the Thursday 10 am to 2 pm shift.  She attended a meeting for the new coordinators last night.

• Here are some things she has learned.  The shifts are to be shorter at Payson because they don’t have a cafeteria–4 hours at the most.  The line assignments will probably feature 45 minute rotations throughout, since endowment sessions will start every 45 minutes.  The temple has three one-phase endowment rooms with capacity of 92-94.  This will give the temple about three/fourths the capacity of the Bountiful and Mt. Timp temples.  She brought home a detailed map of the floors of the temple, so we know quite a lot about its layout now.  There appears to be a grand staircase from the 1st to the 2nd floor on the west which houses the endowment rooms.  And the celestial room is on the east and rises from the second floor a couple of stories.  The 3rd floor is for sealing rooms.  The temple has prospects of being popular with brides.  Since the phone opened for scheduling a week or so ago, they already have appointments for 10 marriages for the first day it is open, Tuesday June 9th.  They said there are already more weddings scheduled for the summer than Provo has for an entire year.

• We were at the cabin this week but came back twice.  We left here Monday evening after my 11 year old scout meeting, stayed over on that night, came back to Salem for Wendy’s temple interview on Tuesday night, but drove back up and stayed at the cabin on Tuesday night.  We came back home on Wednesday evening, did our temple shift and then a temple session on Thursday. Slept here again on Thursday evening, so that I could do my family history library shift on Friday morning, then went back to the cabin Friday afternoon, and came home Saturday evening.  So, we had three nights at the cabin and parts of five days.  The weather was warm and sunny with beautiful blue sky most days but cloudy and gray on Wednesday.  We got in 4 1-hour walks during the week.  We had a fun lunch in Heber on Wednesday with our friends, Jim and Betty S., from the Provo temple. 

• We are beginning to understand why seemingly no one over 60 likes DST.  Our bodies just don’t adjust to the change in schedule as easily as younger people.  Its been a week, and we have trouble going to sleep and trouble waking up, and have to take naps every day.  We wonder how a vote on DST might be arranged.

The easy yoke of Christ

I taught Gospel Doctrine class in our Sunday School this morning substituting for the regular teacher who is out of town.  He asked for volunteers last week and I raised my hand.  I was preoccupied with it and thought about it about all week.  The lesson was on Christ’s invitation for those who are heavy laden to come to him, to take his yoke upon them, that he would give them rest, that his yoke was easy and his burden light, in Matthew Chapter 11:28-30. 

Here are a couple of new insights about these verses--You can read it as contrasting the yoke and burdens of the world with the yoke of Christ.  The former are heavy and hard; the latter is light and easy.  A reason for this difference is that in the yoke of Christ, you two become a team and he pulls with you.  He has capacity to pull harder than you, so that you as a team you always have the combined strength to be successful.

Stephen Robinson explains,  “When we become one with Christ, spiritually we form a partnership with a join account, and his assets and our liabilities flow into each other.  Since he has more assets than we have liabilities (he has an infinite ocean of assets), the new account has a positive balance as soon as it is formed, and the partnership is justified even though its junior partners (you and me) could not make it on their own.  This is what the Apostle Paul refers to as being “in Christ (1 Cor. 1:1) and what Moroni calls being “perfect in Christ” (Moro. 10:32).  Taken together, Christ and I make up a new creature.  The old creature, the imperfect me, ceases to exist, and a glorious new creature, a perfect partnership, takes its place.  Taken together as a single entity, the two of us, Christ and I, are perfect.  I do not mean (this is absolutely crucial!) that we can become perfect later on.  I mean that from the moment the partnership is formed in good faith, from the moment we have sincere faith in Christ, sincerely repent of our sins, and receive baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost–from that moment the partnership is celestial.  The merits of the Senior Partner make it so.” (Stephen E. Robinson, Believing Christ, Deseret Book Company, 1992, pp. 25-26)
light, in Matthew Chapter 11:28-30. 

Cloud and sky from the cabin

Affirmation and appreciation in families

     I used to attend yearly conferences of AMCAP (Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists).  An account given by one of the speakers has stayed with me because of the lessons it taught about successful marriages and families.
      The speaker was a marriage counselor who had been trained in the West but had initiated a practice in Florida.  Soon he was also called to be on the High Council of his LDS stake.  The stake had wards and branches scattered about in quite a few cities and towns in that area of the state.  Soon his Church speaking assignments took him to these scattered places and he began to become acquainted with many LDS members throughout his new stake.
     His practice continued to grow and a day came when he met a new client at his office that he recognized as a member from one of the scattered wards.  A picture came to his mind of a family sitting in one of the front rows of the chapel as he gave his talk, a young father and mother and several little children close in age to each other.  This was the father who was coming to his office.
     As the interview developed, the man shared his situation.  He had fallen out of love with his wife, and then with a person at his employment believed he had discovered his true soul mate.  The counselor, who was trained in Rogerian non-directive therapeutic techniques, began to make a response along the order of “So you feel that you no longer love your wife” but what came out of his mouth shocked both himself and the client: “No!  You cannot leave your wife, You have made promises and commitments that you need to keep!”
     The counselor then expressed to his audience his immediate feelings of disconcertment at having violated the tenets of his professional training, yet still had the vision in his mind of this little family sitting together in the front row of the chapel.  So, he and the man pursued in their subsequent discussion what needed to happen next and the counselor was bold enough to give him a homework assignment.  He directed the man, for each day in the following week, to say one thing to his wife that complimented her or expressed appreciation to her for what she was doing for him or their children, and then to report on this when they would meet again.
     At the next meeting the man reported that it was hard but he had fulfilled the assignment.  He seemed to have softened a little in his determination to leave his family.  The counselor left him with the same assigned homework for the next week.  The following counseling session followed the same pattern.  When the man returned for the third time he informed the counselor that he had decided that he still cared for his wife and would being staying with his family and didn’t think he needed more counseling sessions.
     A few months later the man came up to him after a stake conference, hugged him, and gave him profuse thanks for stopping him from making the worst decision in his life, to leave his wife and family.  Developing the practice and habit of expressing gratitude daily to his spouse had restored his feelings of love for his wife and revolutionized his marriage relationship.
     I think that our family heritage was not as rich as it could have been in expressions and physical manifestations of approval, appreciation, and love.  In retrospect, I am confident that love and good wishes predominated in both the Lewis and Evans families, but neither family had the habit and practice of expressing or showing that love with regularity.  Over the period of my adulthood, I have gradually been able to see and begin to try to practice these principles.  Wendy has been a fine influence in this regard.  One day shortly after our marriage, she said, “You know, your daughters need you to tell them regularly that you love them.”  That statement struck me strongly as being correct and needed, and I have tried to implement it.  I have found it less strange to verbalize as I continue to remember to do it, especially in phone calls.  (I have also been led to think if the girls need it maybe the boys do also.)
     Everybody needs to feel appreciated and hear words of affirmation.  Here are some ways I have discovered to provide positive feedback:
     DEVELOP THE HABIT TO SAY “THANK YOU” OFTEN.  As I have learned more about expressing approval and appreciation, I am finding one of the most natural ways to do this is verbalizing “Thank you’s” immediately whenever someone does something for you.  To me this happens many times a day, and offers rich opportunities to communicate gratitude and promote a warm, positive family environment.
     I compliment those moms in our family who are helping their children to write “thank you” notes.
     BE A CHEER-LEADER FOR ANY GOOD ACTION BY THOSE AROUND YOU.  Be enthusiastic and spontaneous.  The 80% rule for maintaining relationships is: 4 positive interactions for every negative interaction.
     USE THE GOLDEN SENTENCE.  There is a more sophisticated way to word a statement of praise, which strengthens your ability to build up the person.  Some have called it “The Golden Sentence.”  Here is the format for this kind of statement:
           I feel [state the positive feeling]
           about [name the action/behavior]
           because [describe how the action/behavior benefits you or others]
     Here are a couple of examples:
     “I feel wonderful whenever you compliment me about something I do around the house, because then I know that you love me.”  
     “I admire how you interact with your little kids–you seem so gentle and positive.  I am sure that this will evolve into a strong relationships as they grow older.”
     DO SOMETHING THAT EXPRESSES APPRECIATION OR AFFIRMATION TO FAMILY MEMBERS EVERY DAY (OR OFTENER)
     I wish I could have expressed praise and appreciation better in my earlier years.  I think this would have benefited JoAnn and helped her cope with the huge challenges she had to deal with.  I especially wish that I had been more appreciative to my mother, who did so much for me, including helping me to gain a testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel.
     I can only look forward to meeting these two in the hereafter, intending to make sure that they now know of my profound gratitude for their multitudinous contributions to my life on earth.

Wilford Woodruff's Response to the Announcement of Baptism for the Dead

Prominent men appear to Elder Woodruff at St. George temple 1877

     At the time of the Church’s October Conference in 1940, eight members of the Quorum of the Twelve were serving missions in England, including Wilford Woodruff.  At the conference, on October 5, 1840, Joseph Smith gave an address in which he made a huge announcement, one that established an entirely new direction for the Church.  There may have never been a conference announcement, before or since, with that significant a change being made, even including those that abolished polygamy or extending the priesthood to all worthy males.  The discourse was about baptism for the dead.
     On the next day, Elder Woodruff’s wife Phebe, who had attended the conference, wrote a long letter to her husband in England to share the news.  Shortly after this, Joseph smith also wrote a letter to the Twelve explaining the doctrine.
     When Elder Woodruff heard the news, his response was interesting and inspiring.  He recorded in his journal that the moment that he heard of the possibility of baptisms for the dead, his “soul leaped with joy.”  The doctrine of vicarious baptism proved to Wilford that God “was reasonable, wise, just, and true, and possessed both the best of attributes, and good sense and knowledge.... consistent with love, mercy, justice and judgment.”  As a result Wilford loved God more than ever.  He later testified that the revelation was like a “shaft of light from the throne of God,” and “opened a field wide as eternity to our minds.”  (reported in Jennifer Ann Mackley, “Wilford Woodruff’s Witness: The Development of Temple Doctrine,” Seattle: High Desert Publishing, 2014, 47-50)
     Might we share some of Elder Woodruff’s feelings about work for the dead?

Imperfection in a perfect Church

Christ the Healer

     Here is an insight from the Givens (“The Ring of Pharaoh,” The Crucible of Doubt, pp. 73-82) which gives me much comfort, as it reflects upon both my efforts to lead and to follow in the Church.  In their chapter about our dealings with and expectations of our leaders in the Church, both local and general, that we are required to sustain and follow fallible human beings, they teach of how thoroughly God relies on the principle of delegation to both further his work and help persons to grow.  Delegation requires that God sanctions and honors decisions made on earth, if sincerely executed, even if they are not a perfect reflection of heavenly wisdom.
     B. H. Roberts has stated, “I think it is a reasonable conclusion to say that constant, never-varying inspiration is not a factor in the administration of the affairs even of the Church; not even good men, no, not though they be prophets or other high officials of the Church, are at all times and in all things inspired of God.”  Part of the test for each of us, is that God asks for us to receive the words of the prophet (and for that matter, the words of other leaders, both local and general), “as if from my own mouth, in all patience and faith.” (D&C 21:5).  Why patience and faith?  Because we are obligated to find out for ourselves the level of inspiration involved in a pronouncement.  And also, this will be the action of a well-intentioned but less-than-perfect leader, and may very well place our own faith on trial.
     “God said that he would have a tried people.  But he doesn’t have to do the trying.  We do most of it to each other–through the very weakness designed to bring us all, fallible leaders and struggling disciples, to Christ the Healer.” (p. 79)
     Even if leaders make errors as they try to execute their callings, God can and will transmute these into goodness.  As evidence, the Givens cite the story of Joseph being sold into Egypt, Joseph Smith’s experience in the Liberty jail (D&C 122) and Lehi’s blessing to his son Jacob (2 Nephi 2:1-2).
     The closing challenge from the Givens:
     “ “Imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with,” reminds Elder Jeffrey Holland.  “That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but he deals with it.  So should we.”  Generosity with our own inept attempts to serve and minister to each other in a lay church, charity toward those in leadership who, as President Dieter Uchtdorf noted, have “said or done [things] that were not in harmony with our values, principles, or doctrine,” and faith in Christ’s Atonement that makes up the human deficit–these could be the balm of Gilead for which both wounded disciples and striving leaders seek” (p. 82)
     There we have it:
– GENEROSITY toward our own inept efforts
– CHARITY toward those in leadership
– FAITH in Christ’s Atonement to make up any deficit