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How to raise children in the Gospel of Jesus Christ while living in a self-indulgent society that is obsessed and saturated with sex? This is a question of eternal importance. A generation or two ago, Latter-day Saint parents developed the skills to teach their children how to obey the Word of Wisdom and we are pretty proficient at this. Newer challenges faced by our children are infinitely more complex, subtle, and difficult to combat than were smoking and drinking.
This challenge strikes at the very heart of the Gospel plan. Demonstrating a willingness and ability to use the powers of procreation in rightful ways during mortality seems to be the very essence of qualifying for the godly powers of exaltation in the eternities. If we use appropriately and constructively the limited gift of creative powers we are given while on earth, we might be able to be trusted to use greater creative powers for the benefit of others in the hereafter. In an earlier blog we raised the question of how to help young men in our family to avoid one of the major pitfalls for their gender in our sexualized society, the dangers of pornography.
In males, pornography inflames and inflates desires and motivates inappropriate actions, mis-educates males in their expectations about women which causes much grief in relationships, and even establishes and reinforces unnatural and deviant desires and behaviors. We had some dialogue about how to deal with these dangers positively and preventably, in terms of helping young members of our family to learn to recognize and value the presence of the Spirit in our lives and to resist making any choices that would offend and drive the Spirit away.
Regarding challenges to the young women in our family, The Deseret News has recently published a series of articles on problems inherent with the sexualization of our young women, meaning teaching them to define their worth largely in terms of being sexual objects. There is a lot of evidence that media, entertainment, TV, music, movies, styles leaders, and especially companies marketing clothes and other objects to girls using images that negatively influence the perceptions and value standards of young women. As the DN editorial from September 19th states:
“The issue of teen and child sexualization by popular media and marketing is just such an issue. The images of girls — especially girls' bodies — that dominate billboards, newsstands, airwaves and even toy stores are, experts say, having a profound effect on young girls as they form their sense of self and discover relationships with the opposite sex. The message is that a woman's personal value is based on her physical appearance and sexuality, and that digitally altered images are somehow an attainable ideal. Study after study demonstrates that this objectification of women devalues intelligence, character and accomplishment and pushes girls toward depression, unhealthy relationships, eating disorders and plastic surgery...”
One of the most telling demonstration of this trend was shown in the accompanying illustration, which showed old and new versions of popular dolls or characters marketed to young girls. I suggest that you review these articles and then let’s have some dialogue.
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“BYU study: Sexualized song lyrics increasing dramatically” Lois M. Collins, Deseret News, published Thursday, Sept. 8, 2011 (http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700177458/BYU-study-Sexualized-song-lyrics-increasing-dramatically.html)
“The end of innocence: The cost of sexualizing kids,” by Lois M. Collins and Sara Lenz, Deseret News, published Saturday, Sept. 18, 2011 (http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700180194/The-end-of-innocence-The-cost-of-sexualizing-kids.html)
“Sexualizing kids: No child left behind — and fighting back” By Lois M. Collins and Sara Lenz, published Sunday, Sept. 18, 2011 (http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700180370/Sexualizing-kids-No-child-left-behind-2-and-fighting-back.html)
“Fighting oversexualization” Deseret News editorial, published Monday, Sept. 19, 2011 (http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700180194/The-end-of-innocence-The-cost-of-sexualizing-kids.html)
Today we attended a graveside service at the Provo Cemetery for our first great-grandchild. I am saddened and express my deep condolences to Andrew and Britain on the loss of their baby son, Frederick Michael. While not compensating for the loss of this beautiful baby, we saw some bright spots:
1) We saw the tender mercies of God in allowing Frederick to be revived and to live for a full seven days. This gave Andrew and Britain and others the chance to serve him, to hold him, to sing to him, to experience responsiveness, and surely, to become acquainted with his spirit. There was also the time and opportunity to say “Good-byes,” or better, “Until tomorrow.”
2) We saw admirable qualities of resilience, faith, and strength on the part of Frederick’s young parents.
We might ask two questions, “Why did we lose Frederick so soon? And why did Andrew and Britain experience this loss at this point in their young lives?
Regarding the first question, the Spirit seems to suggest that Frederick was one of a group of the noble and great of Father’s spirit children who had no need for earthly testing. Obtaining his mortal body, prepared within the bonds of the new and everlasting covenant, was sufficient. Truly, as his place on our Lewis Family Sacred Events and Ordinances display avers, he has endured to the end and fulfilled the purposes of his second estate.
Regarding why Andrew and Britain should need to experience this loss at this point in their lives, the answer is we don’t know. Surely, if we or their good mothers or fathers had been in charge of their earthly experience, in our state of myopia, we undoubtedly would have not have had them endure this trial, especially at this time. But, as Elder Maxwell pointed out several years ago, the Lord has his own agenda and time-table for our earthly tutoring. They might ask: “What is the Lord trying to teach us?” We who love them might wonder “For what are they being prepared?”
According to Lynne Watkins Jorgensen, writing in the book “Opening the Heavens: Accounts of Divine Manifestations 1820-1844," there are least 121 written testimonies of persons who were present at a meeting in Nauvoo Illinois, on August 8, 1844 and personally experienced a spiritual manifestation in which Brigham Young took on the very appearance and voice of Joseph Smith as he spoke to the congregated Saints. This “mantle” or “transfiguration” experience gave convincing evidence to participants in that meeting that God had designated Brigham Young as the leader of the Church to replace the Prophet Joseph Smith.
As a significant spiritual legacy in our family, we had an ancestor present at that meeting, who testified of having experienced this miraculous manifestation. Quoting from a biographical sketch about the life of Martha Ann Townsend, written by my Aunt Dorothy:
“[James Foss Townsend, his wife Susan Davis Townsend, and daughter Martha Ann Townsend] were in Nauvoo at the time of the martyrdom of Joseph Smith and were present at the meeting when the mantle of Joseph fell upon Brigham Young. This happened at a meeting at Nauvoo on the afternoon of 8 Aug. 1844. It was concerning the matter of authority and who now would head and lead the church.
“Joseph Fielding Smith, in his book “Essentials of Church History” tells about it this way: President Brigham Young addressed the congregation. He spoke with great power and the people were convinced that the authority and power of presiding was with the apostles (quorum of the twelve). When he first arose to speak, the people were astonished for President Young stood transfigured before them and they beheld the Prophet Joseph Smith and heard his voice as naturally as ever they did when he was living. It was a manifestation to the Saints that they might recognize the correct authority...
“In 1926, when I [Dorothy Hall] visited my cousin Mattie Barron Norton in Salt Lake City she told me of a time when she was visiting our grandparents in Logan. One day as she watched our grandmother [Martha Ann Townsend Lufkin] make biscuits, she also listened to her tell stories of Nauvoo. Mattie told me that Grandma was about twelve years old but remembered the meeting very well and [stated that] it was true as reported. She told Mattie to remember what she said and to tell others as she had a chance. It was additional testimony to her that the L.D.S. church was true.”
(Dorothy D. Hall, “History of Martha Ann Townsend Lufkin 1832-1912", in Histories of Parents and Grandparents and some other ancestors of Kate Naomi Lufkin Davenport, compiled by Dorothy Lufkin Davenport Hall, 1986, handwritten document, pp 27-28.)
[This testimony was forwarded 11 Sep 2011 to Jennifer Hurlbut of the BYU library staff for consideration to include with the collection of testimonies regarding the "mantle of Joseph" event.]
How to raise children in the Gospel of Jesus Christ while living in a self-indulgent society that is obsessed and saturated with sex? This is a question of eternal importance. A generation or two ago, Latter-day Saint parents developed the skills to teach their children how to obey the Word of Wisdom and we are pretty proficient at this. Newer challenges faced by our children are infinitely more complex, subtle, and difficult to combat than were smoking and drinking.
