Two lessons

Here are two experiences with Chandler guys that may suggest lessons for living.
1) Early in the afternoon on Friday September 7th, Wendy fielded a phone call from Jamison’s scout leader that reminded us that they had a camp scheduled for that evening and the next day. We had not heard of this before and weren’t sure whether the camp had been publicized very well even to the boys, and were a little apprehensive about what Jamison’s reaction would be. He gets home from school about 4 pm and they wanted the boys to be packed and at the church at 4:30. Having worked with scouts and teenage boys for a lot of years. I knew it to be fairly typical for their first reaction upon learning about an activity to be negative. Then if they finally consent to go it is also typical for them to have a great time and come home glad that they went.

So, Jamison walks in the door a moment after 4 pm and we inform him that there is a scout camp to get ready for. We were a little taken back by the vehemence of his response. It was like a little black cloud came over him. As I recall this, he curled up in a chair in a sort of fetal ball. With a scowl on his face, he told us in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t going to go. We mentioned that this was his Deacon’s Quorum and his Scout Troop that was doing this activity and suggested that he owed them his support, but seemingly without much of any change on his mood or motivation. Wendy told him that one of his friends in the troop had called wondering if he was going to go. (I think he was experiencing the same crisis as Jamison.) After that he made a similar call to a second scout. We got the intelligence from him that these two were probably going. By now 10 minutes had been lost. He was still scowling and stated that he still was not going to go.

So, we handed him the phone again and said, “OK, then you will need to call your scout leader and let him know.” He took the phone and was thoughtful for a moment and then said. “Well, maybe I will go. But you will need to call him and let him know I’ll be late.” Wendy and I said, “We’ll help you pack.”

There was a checklist for the camp. I found a backpack and sleeping bag and pad, and Wendy help him gather some clothes and supplies and we jumped in the car and reached the church at exactly 4:30–the first ones there.

The lesson here, or so it seemed to me, was in how Jamison’s mood changed. Immediately when he mumbled that he guessed he would go, the little black cloud disappeared and his was happy and spontaneous and enthusiastic. The contrast in the two moods was so great and the change happened very fast. I drew a conclusion from this that obedience and happiness go together, that we tend to be miserable when we resist doing what we should, and are also happiest when we do what is right.

2) Here is a little character study about Holden. We took the three littler guys to a swimming party for cub scouts on Wednesday (the 5th) at the home of a member of the bishopric. When the party started he welcomed the boys and went over rules for being in the pool. One thing he specified was that the pool had a plastic liner that could be ripped or torn if swimmers climbed out in places other than the ladder, and that would ruin the pool for use. Most of the boy complied with this but there were 3 or 4 older boys that didn’t and Sister Blake, one of the den leaders, saw this happening and reminded these boys one by one that they shouldn’t do it. They may have nodded “OK” but we noticed that they soon forgot their promise.

Holden was about the youngest boy there. As we were watching the pool with sister Blake, Holden climbed out over the side right in front of us. I don’t think he heard the instruction as was doing something in the water when it was given initially. Sister Blake said to him, “You are not supposed to climb out over the edge. You’ll need to use the ladder.” He was standing right in front of her and looked up in her face and said, “Why?” I was a little taken back by how direct he was in this interaction with an adult, and thought she could have been offended. But in a calm voice she explained the situation about protecting the plastic cover. He nodded and went back to the pool. And I noticed that he only used the ladder from then on and didn’t once climb out over the edge the rest of the evening.

I thought of Jesus’s Parable of the Two Sons, and how the one who initially rejected obedience bu then changed his mind was approved of God, but the one who promised he would obey but then didn’t was rejected of God. I was proud of Holden for being obedient when it counted.

Journaling, September 7, 2012

Our flight got us back to Utah at nearly 11 pm Monday. We had phoned and gotten tickets to tour the Brigham City temple at 11 the next morning. Wendy's sister Bonnie picked us up and we accepted her invitation from to stay at their home that night to save two hours of driving in the morning.

We took Wendy's son Michael with us to tour the temple, and had opportunity to answer a number of questions he had. We found the temple to be just as beautiful as others had reported, and look forward to the dedication service (to be broadcast to our building by Satellite a week from Sunday) and returning soon to do temple work there.

We got home mid-afternoon Tuesday. We found everything to be alright and also a big box sitting on the kitchen island containing about a bushel of peaches from our late Elberta tree that the Blakes had picked for us on Sunday evening. We (but mostly Wendy) spent most of the rest of the day in bottling 21 more quarts of peaches. That makes a total of 35 quarts we bottled from our two little trees. Add to that about 30 packages that the Blakes froze and some that Matthew and Kimberly got, and that makes lots of good eating from our peach crop this year. (Thanks to Alison for helping with pruning again.) Plus we had lots of fresh peaches to eat. I can't think of anything I like better than fresh, tree-ripened peaches from our own trees. We had 6 weeks of good eating, stating with nectarines, then our early Elberta, then finally the late Elberta. They ripened about two weeks apart, so we had fruit from the trees continuously starting in early August until now.

Journaling from Bentonville, Sept 2-3, 2012

Sunday, September 2nd
Testimony meeting--Jamison bore his testimony about the blessings of daily scripture reading. He said he has been trying to read the Book of Mormon daily and when he does this, things go better. We also heard a sweet testimony from a women whose family are real recent converts. In March they had reservations at a Utah ski resort. When they got here, there was no snow so they decided to tour Temple Square. They loved the Spirit they felt there, wanted more, contacted the missionaries, and now the whole family, Dad, Mom, and their 12 year old son are members and loving it.

At this meeting, there were people sitting in the overflow and back into the cultural hall. It looks to me like the ward is prime to be divided.

Valerie had asked me teach her Sunday School class of 13 year olds. The lesson was on the Sacrament. 11 kids were present. This is a very good class, with kids who like to explore the scriptures. Thanks, Valerie, for letting me have this experience.

In the evening Wendy and I gave our family presentation on great-grandmother Martha Ann Townsend Lufkin and her presence at the meeting in Nauvoo where she and many others experienced the "mantle of Joseph" falling on Brigham Young.


Monday, September 3rd Labor day--The post-Isaac weather has turned out to be southern summer at its most horrendous--Just like July-August in NC that we were happy to miss in our second year--99 degrees and 70% humidity. Step outside the AC'd door and you are enveloped with a blast of furnace-hot air.

Ward breakfast--We attended a ward pancake breakfast Monday morning with the kids. Big attendance. We are starting to get acquainted.

Chandlers were assigned to put up and take down scout flags for the Labor Day holiday. Our route was one of four, and was the Kensington neighborhood where their house is located. We had 29 flags. Jaron drove and McKay and Jamison put the flags out, with my helping to read the map for which homes got the flags. Monday evening I drove while McKay and Jamison took the flags down. The flag project is really lucrative here. They ask $50 a year from each subscriber family. On this route, 24 of the homes are non-members and 5 members. If that ratio holds, the program is grossing about $6000 each year with about 85% coming from outside the ward and Church. It enables a rich young men's program, like doing summer camps at Philmont last year. This coming summer, they are going to a Scouting sea base in the Florida Keys. This ward seems to have lots of young men right now, and appears to be operating effective Troop, Varsity, and Venturing programs. Our current Stake President in our Spanish Fork stake has decided not to allow flag projects, which is OK, but the ward leaders are constantly complaining that they don't have enough money to go to BSA camps or do district activities. I guess I have a preference for what the Bentonville 1st ward is doing.

Tie tieing school

Valerie suggested that sometime during the visit, I conduct a tie tieing school. So we brought that program into being Sunday afternoon. With a little help and coaching, both McKay and Jamison achieved a beginning competence with a Four-in-hand knot. See picture for proof. We may work on more advanced knots next Sunday, if they have maintained the Four-in-hand lesson.

Four-in-hand: (Our NC Raleigh missionaries called this a Twister.) This is the simplest knot and the one that businessmen such as Mitt Romney have been using for the last 30 years. It looks neat and professional. It makes a slim knot that is slightly off-center or with a small twist in it. It works with most all widths of ties from very skinny to very wide.

The other two knots I know are the Half-Windsor and the Windsor. (NC Raleigh elders knew them as Windsor and Double Windsor). They make increasingly fat knots. Many of our Utah missionaries and current Utah boys seems to a prefer a big, fat, loose, and bulky knot that the two Winsors achieve. Current tie styles include ties that not only are wide but also are thick having some inner material added to increase the bulkiness.

All three knots start with the tie laid over the shoulders (or threaded though the collar) with the narrow end on the left and the wide end on the right. The narrow end should extend only to a point somewhere between the sternum and the belly button, with the higher for more bulky knots. (When the knot is completed, you want the wide end to extend to barely cover the belt buckle, and the narrow end to be shorter.

You do all the work of tieing with the wide end.

The wide end overlaps the narrow end at about level of breast bone.

For the Four-in-hand, at about the level of the breast bone, wrap the wide end around the itself and the small end, about one and a half times to a point directly at the back side of the knot, then bring the wide side end up and over the knot to the front and poke it under the wrap at the front of the knot. Pull it loosely tight and straighten out the front if the knot if necessary, then tighten then knot up to the collar. And you are done.

The Half-Windsor starts the same way, except the wrap only goes a single time around the knot to a point at the front of the knot, then you put a single wrap around the narrow end of the tie just above where it enters the knot, starting at the inside and bringing the wide end around again from the outside. Then continue the wrap around to the backside of the knot and finish it in the same way as the Four-in-hand.

The Full-Windsor starts the same way, except that the wrap only goes a half way around to the neck side and then is brought through the top of the knot and makes a single wrap around the wide end just above where it enters the knot, then goes across the back side of the knot to where another single wrap is made around the narrow end just above where it enters the knot (this is the same as for the Half-Windsor) and then the wrap continues around the front to the backside to finish the knot the same way as for the other two knots.

OK, now the whole world knows.

Journal, Saturday, Sept 1, 2012

BENTONVILLE, AR. Its Saturday morning and the sun just started to shine again, with bright blue sky (its like Utah blue) between the remaining clouds. It rained most of the time since yesterday morning, perhaps for a total of couple of inches (I've not seen any official figures), sometimes pretty hard and sometimes only a drizzle or a mist. Isaac seems to have passed us (we ended up only on the outer fringe), without any flooding, but giving NWA some much need moisture.

Thursday night was exciting for those of us who are BYU fans. Our defense dominated Wazzu's much toured Air Raid and our offense sputtered at times but showed promise. We are staying with three great fans of BYU football, Jamison, Trenton, and Holden. (I'm not sure what went wrong in the education of Jaron and McKay--they could care less about BYU football.) The 9:15 pm starting time was a challenge on a school night. Jamision had an invite from The Blakes to celebrate the game with them, and the two little guys begged and pleaded to be able to watch. We finally passed the buck back to Valerie, when she called about 8 pm to let us know that she and Greg had arrived in Boston, and she suggested that Trenton and Holden be able to watch the first half. They got on their PJs and saw that much action and then dutifully retired. Blakes brought Jamison home as promised during halftime. He watched a little of the third quarter and put himself to bed.

In the meantime, Wendy and I concentrated mostly on watching the last evening of the Republican convention. Like much of the audience we teared-up with some of the stories about Mitt Romney's caring actions and others' stories of family progress.

In the morning we were pleasantly suprised that the little boys all were able to get up on schedule so that we were able to get them to their schools on-time ( a part of the bargain for seeing part of The Game).

By the way, the morning schedule for getting the guys to school is a killer--set the alarm for 5:15 am to help Jaron wake-up and get off to seminary by 5:55, 6:45 wake up Holden and Trenton and see that they get up, dressed, etc.; also wake McKay; at 6:55 drive McKay to seminary; at about 7:15 walk Trenton and Holden down the street to a neighbor's so that they can get a ride to school; 7:40 leave for the church to pick up McKay from Seminary and bring him back home; 7:55 wake Jamison; 8:20 drive Jamison to hs school; 8:35 drive McKay to school. I have done all the driving, while Wendy has been preparing breakfast, helping with dressing, etc., here at home. She rode along to take McKay to high school. When we got home at 9 am after nearly 4 hours of effort, I had the thought, "We are 33% done with our assignment to get the kids to school in the morning. Two days down and four to go, next week."

Six days of this routine is really not such a burden, especially as we don't have anything else to do, but we can see that Valerie deserves great credit for doing this day after day, month after month, year after year. We are grateful that we have had pretty good cooperation from the boys and that there has been a minimum of grumbling and resistence to getting going. We would feel a great sense of failure if the alternative occurred.