Rich, rewarding marriage relationship, #1

Here are some thoughts about things I have learned that seem to help to maintain a rich, rewarding relationship in marriage:

1) Be extremely appreciative
Be quick to identify and gives thanks to your partner for specific things that he/she does for you and your family. Try not to miss anything, big or little. Try to credit every attempt at service to you or action toward you involving a good intention, even if it may have missed the mark in some way.

2) Give service constantly
Look for little ways (and big–but lots of little are better than occasional big) to serve your partner, to provide comfort, to make life easier or better for them. Surprises are good.

3) Fix problems fast
If you even have a hint that you may have given offense to your partner in some way, initiate an apology. Your relationship is generally more important than who is right and wrong. On the other hand, be slow to take offense. If you feel you must raise an issue needing to be resolved, try to present it in private, in a non-threatening way (as a specific action, not a trait), and bracketed with praise and appreciation. At the same time, be willing to hear criticism of your own actions.

Regarding all three of the above, try not to worry about how your partner performs. Concentrate on your own actions.

Also be patient. Recognize that there are stages in the life of a family or situations that arise in which parents may not have much energy and time to work on their relationship.